Updates!

So, spring is, uhm... springing?  The weather is getting a whole lot nicer, and I am finding reasons to love biking even more.

Since the last update, my bike life has been uneventful.  I've bike commuted one or two days a week every week, but the bitter cold kept me out of the saddle and in the interior of my car more frequently than I should have been.  However, this past week and a half has been game on again.  Let me just say that winter was rough on my body, but it was even rougher biking home in freezing rain.  I had to let my glasses thaw out when I got home on one occasion.

I'm back to biking nearly every day again, and have just now recently started to find myself enjoying it again and taking the extended routes home.  My beard has been growing since January 1st now, and will continue until I complete my trip.  I spend more time on my beard and hair than I ever imagined possible.  Brushes, waxes, oils, combs, the list goes on.  I feel like the most manly chick when it takes me an hour in the morning to get ready.

I got a tattoo a few weekends ago.  I've wanted one for awhile, but was never really certain of what I wanted.  One day it just came to me.  My bikes have been my therapists, my places of solitude, my anti-depressants, my gym, and whatever else I needed from them, and not just lately, but always have been.  After thinking about everything that cycling has been to me, even growing up as a child, I came to an even bigger realization.  I'm just a dorky guy on a bike who likes loud rock music.  Who I actually am became crystal clear.  There's a longer story behind it, but this isn't really the place.  Feel free to ask me if you want the non cliff notes version!

Bitchin' ink.

Vinegar Strokes

My classes are almost done, my stress is slowly seeping out of my chronically sore neck, and I am okay to write an entry again this evening.  So, without further delay, here is my review on a supposed re-hydration drink that I got from questionable sources! (Reddit)

The Recipe

Anyhow, it was a slow day and there had been an interesting thread that gave this recipe for leg cramps.  I think I may have been pushing it too hard because I've been getting an occasional cramp, which I've never have before.  So, there I am, sitting at work, with not a whole lot else to do when I realize that I have all of the ingredients for this drink.  I am making this.  I'm gonna do it, and I'm gonna do it now!  I am excited, and I am pumped.  The only thing I would have trouble with would be boiling the water.  Never mind that, I have a spigot on the water cooler for hot water!  Looking back, I realize there is a microwave which could have easily boiled the water, but I am a HERE AND NOW KINDA GUY.  The hot water spigot from the water cooler would have to do!  I got the vinegar, leftover from yesteryear, and proceeded to crudely eyeball two cups.  I got the sugar from the coffee area, and the salt off of a peer's desk.  I proceeded to mix the ingredients with the vinegar, and added in another eyeballed two cups of hot water from the cooler.

It smelled, as you would expect from vinegar, and once again, looking back, this should have been the first tip that I was doing something unnatural to my body.  The heat from the hot water created a noxious steam that emanated off of the lip of my Styrofoam cup.  It was comparable to leaving a hockey bag in your car on a hot summer day.  Either way, I was gonna do this.  I hate cramps!  I took a big swig from my concoction, and I have to say, the smell was way worse than the taste.  While it didn't taste GOOD, it reminded me of salt and vinegar flavored potato chips.  My brain instantly went into civil war mode. 

"Steve, you found this recipe on the internet, it tastes awful, but not awful enough to outweigh the potential gains." 

Meanwhile, the other half of my brain said, "You've been pushing harder and harder, now your nutrition is holding you back.  Health foods never taste good.  Besides, you can drink it without gagging, and how cool would it be to finally get a 20mph average speed for a longer ride?"

Guess which side won.

Only the finest Dollar General Vinegar for this beverage!

I proceeded to take large gulps of this "drink" over the next thirty minutes.  Jesus, every time it tasted worse than before.  I downed the entire batch and proceeded to finish the rest of my workday forgetting about it.

It wasn't until several hours later, that my stomach started making some odd noises.  "Whatever, I don't have the world's strongest stomach anymore."

I will spare you all the details, but I do not advise taking this drink to rehydrate, or to get over cramps.  However, I will advocate using this drink if you need a "cleanse" of sorts.  I was cleansed about five times that afternoon.  I was conned, and I knew it.  After my battle royale had come to it's supposed conclusion, I was sitting around, feeling pretty comfortable.  There's no other way to put this, if I had all the mental willpower in the world, I couldn't have stopped what was going to happen next.  I'll be blunt and to the point.  I shit myself.  I waddled bowlegged to the men's room with my messenger bag in tow.  I'd have to wear my bike shorts the rest of the day.  No sense in saving my skivvies, they were a done deal.

Long story short, the internet made me shit my pants, I'd lost more fluid than I had ingested, and I looked like a fool at work.



Everyone, listen up, tomorrow is LEG DAY!  The definite answers on male razor burn of the legular region will finally be answered!

Commuting Woes!

Okay, okay.  So the leg post is still a work in progress.  I promise it will be up no later than Wednesday!  I have to let the products try to work their magic first.  Today's post is a little more serious.

Normally I'm a pretty level headed individual.  If you know me, you also know that I'm not one to anger easily.  For some reason today, I seemed to have lost that in the heat of the moment.  Maybe it was the endorphins coursing through me, or the chilly morning, but I couldn't hold my anger back.

I bike commute nearly everywhere now.  I try to take the back roads and I pull as far to the right of the lane when it is SAFE.  Occasionally, I will take the whole lane of traffic, simply because that is where it is safe for me to ride.  When I'm on my bike, I don't have the clam shell of metal around me to make sure I'm okay.  I have the open air, and a Styrofoam cap that is magically supposed to "protect" me.  I obey traffic signs and lights and other traffic laws.  I have plenty of lights at night, and try to wear visible and reflective clothing.  I consider myself to be a pretty safe cyclist.

Ever since I was hit by a truck earlier this year when it ran a red light, I have taken extra steps to make sure I am safe on the roads.  I carry myself with an attitude of caution around every single vehicle, and I assume they do not see me, especially during night hours.

I try to be an outstanding and courteous cyclist, and hope I am a positive influence to biking for motorists along my adventures.

With all of this out of the way, let me get to the story.  On my morning commute into work today I had an "event."  Not only did this event put me in a bad mood on my normally enjoyable morning ride, it had me a little peeved all day.  It happened at an intersection.  The road I was on was a residential, 25mph road, with extra wide lanes, and had a traffic island separating the two different directions of traffic.  The cross street was a 35mph "main road" of sorts.

I pulled up to the traffic light like I do nearly every morning and took the middle of the center lane.  This lane is the only lane marked for going straight.  There is a left turn lane and a right turn lane.  Keep in mind, these lanes only exist at the intersection, and it goes back to a one lane road after crossing through the intersection.

The intersection in question.

As I'm waiting, traffic lines up behind me.  There are some cars in the left turn lane, some in the right, and about four or five behind me.  Since the lanes are so wide on this road, after crossing the intersection, I will usually move a little to the right to allow traffic to pass me.  I don't feel threatened by the cars sharing the lane, and even though it is a 25mph zone, many people speed through.  I usually do about 22-23mph down this stretch, yet cars pass me like I'm standing still.

Anyhow, I cross through the intersection safely, and as I normally do, I check over my right shoulder to move over so the cars behind me can pass.  I'm glad I make a habit of always looking before I move, because sitting INCHES from my rear tire and to my right is a car.  It's a beige Toyota.  Uggghhhhhhh.  It's trying to pass on the right.  In a single traffic lane.  This driver must've been so inconvenienced by having a cyclist in front of them, they decided it was not only acceptable to use the right turn only lane to go straight, but also attempt to pass me on the right.  On a one lane road.  I'm still baffled by it, so maybe repeating it again will help me understand.  A CAR PASSING ON THE RIGHT OF A ONE LANE ROAD.  Nope, it still doesn't make sense as to how this is okay.  At all.

Of course confusion was my first reaction, so I blurted out a pretty hefty, "What the hell are you doing?!?!?"

This was followed by me slowing down, so this lunatic could get past me without any bodily injury on my part.  Apparently, this gesture was taken as, "Oh boy, I made him angry, I should slow down too!"

This only confused and angered me more.  I think maybe I had not been clear with my intent for them to pass me.  At this point, I motion with my free hand and wave them forward.  We are a rolling roadblock at this point, and the only thing on my mind is to get away from this person.  What happened next I can only be describe as the most foul string of expletives that may have ever left my mouth.  I must have been loud enough at this point, because it caused the car to just stop.  After getting a few car lengths ahead, and back to my position on the right to allow traffic to pass, I look back.  What I saw in the Toyota was the most shocked face I've ever seen a sweet old woman wear.

Now, I felt bad the rest of my ride in, and throughout most of the afternoon from this episode.  I had just cussed out and said awful things to what appeared to be an old woman in a Toyota Solara convertible.  Why did I have to do that?  Why her, and why did I have to be so harsh?  After thinking about it all afternoon, I came to a realization.  I could've absolutely handled the situation better.  If I could go back and change the interaction, I would still be loud, but I should've been more clear in my intentions.  Still, that does not change the fact that this woman showed no regard for my safety, let alone traffic laws.  This has been the closest I had been to getting in another accident since the truck incident this May.  When you see everything happening, the fight or flight response kicks in.  If I had continued riding without checking over my shoulder, I have no doubt this blog post would be written differently.

Like I said earlier, I have no clam shell to hide in when I'm on my bike.  I have a few inches of rubber, aluminum, and carbon keeping me from two-ton, highly unpredictable, people carriers, that could kill me at any time.  Biking is about freedom and not having to be stuck in the confines of the car.  It's about self-reliance and not having to fill up with gas every week.  It's about fitness and being outside.  It's about taking life a little slower and appreciating the little things on the way.  The danger that comes with this, is of course the openness as well.  If you crash into me, there aren't seat belts, airbags, or crumple zones to keep me safe.  I openly understand this and do what I can to minimize my risk as a cyclist.

The thing that bothers me, is that, I can be a perfect cyclist.  I can follow all the laws, wear the brightest clothes, light my bike up like a damn Christmas tree, but at the end of the day, if someone else decides "it's not worth my time to follow the rules," I'm still put in as much, if not more, jeopardy than if I were the one actively breaking the law.  I can be perfect to the T while riding my bike and still be in danger because people are impatient and treat cyclists like second class citizens on the road.  People who break the law to get around cyclists, people who yell and throw things out of moving cars, or people who fly past coming way too close for comfort all have one thing in common.  They're all assholes.  Including the old woman today.  I hope the extra few minutes she was trying to save on her commute was worth putting my life at risk.  That person on a bike isn't an "obstruction" or an "inconvenience."  They are a PERSON, and that is why I am angry.  No one's life should ever be put in question, just so a motorist can cut down their drive time.

I hope some readers will think about this next time they see someone biking on the road.  When you're frustrated that you're moving slower because of them, just remember this: That is a person and chances are they are actually a pretty friendly guy or gal, with plenty of stories, loved ones, and their own lives underneath that Lycra.  Don't be an asshole to them.

The Aftermath!
After telling my coworkers about the incident today, my work phone started making weird noises.  I was genuinely concerned that the old woman had put a curse on me!  She looked old, but young at the same time.  It's pretty evident she was a witch.  I had put a damper on her morning drive and delayed her plan to complain to the Hobby Lobby management team about yarn prices.  Thinking back, it all makes sense.  She had stop the car in order to channel her energy.

Every time I put the handset back on it's cradle, unsettling... sounds came from it.  Since some of you find it humorous to see the things I search for, I figured I would post it up.  Here you go, have at it.

Back to the BLAG

Hey everyone!  Sorry for the outage, but I've been busy with all sorts of things recently and the blog was starting to stress me out a little bit.  I'm back though, and 1000% less emo in my posts.  All posts pertaining to my whining are gone because this is not LiveJournal, and I am no longer fourteen.  In any case, let's move on!

It's been about two weeks since I've actually updated this sucker, and so much has happened.  I went on a mountain biking trip with two friends a few weekends ago, which was an absolute blast.  There will be more on that later.  I went full roadie and shaved my legs.  Which I will write about later this week.  I've gone several hundred miles on my inexpensive tires without a flat, which is a new record.  Last but not least, I've decided to start watching my diet and calorie intake during the day.  I've cut out the beer and liquor and am really striving to be at my target cycling weight.

Anyhow, on to the mountain biking trip!  I had an excellent time this weekend.  I'd like to thank Brandon for throwing everything together and getting it organized, and Tim for driving me out in his badass truck.  We went to Brown County, Indiana, and I can safely say I had the most excellent, if not also the most frustrating, time out there.  For those of you not in the know, Brown County was rated as one of the IMBA "Epic Rides" in 2011, and still stands as one of their model trails that others are compared against.

For those of you who know me a little better, you will certainly know that mountain biking was how I was reintroduced to the two wheeled world after a long absence.  I started nearly seven years ago.  Recently obligations, responsibilities, and just the general buzz of day-to-day life have limited the time I've been able to spend on a mountain bike.  You have to load up a vehicle, drive out to the destination, unpack, ride, pack back up, and head out.  Unless I have a few hours to kill, it isn't always a viable option for me.

Anyhow, tackling trails like this, after only being on my mountain bike one previous time this season, was a little nerve-racking.  There were some superb trails with lots of flow in the beginning and I could get moving very quickly.  The hills always seemed reasonable, and while challenging, never left me feeling drained.  One hill supposedly had over 1,000 feet of vertical climb, but the trails were planned out in such a way that I never really hated climbing.

On top of Hesitation Point, the 1,000' climb.

The first day went smoothly for me, except for the descents.  I have a bad habit of tensing up, and not letting my bike do the work for me.  This is fine on climbs, but often slows me down and leads to some interesting situations on downhill segments.  The downhill on Hesitation Point was brutal to me.  I lost control of my bike and slid about forty feet down the hillside.  Of course, other than damaging my ego, it also tore up the shorts and bike shorts I was wearing underneath.  This forced my hand to make an on-the-fly daisy duke conversion with a pocket knife.  I regret nothing.

The camping was done at eXplore Brown County, and was pretty decent.  The campgrounds were a little more family oriented than I think anyone would have anticipated, but it still made for a good time.  All in all, I would visit again.  However, a word to fellow mountain bikers, the mountain bike trails at the campsite were NOT worth trying to figure out.  While they certainly weren't the worst trails I've ever ridden on, the layout is confusing and is second only to the map they give you in terms of disorganization.

Tim, with Camp Beer!

This trip really made me remember why I love mountain biking.  While road biking is fun in it's own ways, sometimes you need a little more excitement to really get you going.  Flying down some of those hills and hitting the little bunny hop jumps really reminded me of this.  I hope to get out more next year and not let mountain biking be forgotten again.  I come back from Brown County beat up, but with a smile on my face.

Stick with me later this week where I try to justify shaving my legs and review some razor burn remedies.  Goodness, does this itch.

That Dreaded Time of the Year...

Here we are! The weather is finally starting to transition from the long summer days filled with warmth to the short, chilly days of winter. As many of you know, I'm not the biggest fan of winter. It is often the time of year when people such as myself pack in for a few months, and slowly watch the pounds pile on from extravagant holiday feasts and lack of exercise.

I've had thoughts about joining a gym over the past few weeks, but then I remember how much I hate them. They're often florescent lit, reminding me once more of my day stuck at work, and how the sun barely shows itself anymore after five. Instead, I've found myself biking home in the dark. This may sound dangerous, and I was a little nervous on my first ride out. What I've noticed though, is compared to the summer months, there is significantly less traffic on my commutes. No one really wants to be out when it's cold, dark, and sometimes rainy. Hell, even I don't really WANT to be out on those evenings either.

These rides in the dark have been some of the best cycling experiences I've had recently. You get the cool bight of the air rushing along you, the odd tranquility of having normally busy roads to yourself. Then there's the sensation of only knowing what's a few feet in front of you from your lamp. The way it makes me feel is fantastic. It is nearly the complete opposite of the gym, and I couldn't be happier.

People are already starting to look at me like I'm crazy out on my bike with this weather, but the worst is still to come. With a few extra minutes of planning in the mornings, I find I can adequately dress myself for almost any weather. From a simple windbreaker, to layers, to wool garments when it gets REALLY cold, I am putting in the effort to not let the forty pounds I've lost over the past few months sneak up on me again.

And you know what the best part about all of this is? The absolute joy of still riding my bike, despite the weather! There are few things getting me through my stresses recently, but every day I ride my bike to work, class, or errands, I know that I can always look forward to my ride back. Heck, the other day I even took the long way home.

To anyone reading this that's thinking about putting the bike “up for the season,” do yourself a favor, and don't. Go to your local bike shop and strap some lights on that sucker, pick up some warmer clothing.  Get out there and enjoy the slightly more empty streets!  Push for a new personal record, and enjoy the nearly sweat free experience, or simply go out and let the experience take you where it will.

Now since I'm trying to be informative about my posts too, I'm linking a clothing temperature chart I've used over the past week or so.  I pulled it off of the bicycling subreddit, and found it very useful!

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AlvwYrlWhEL6cFBJNklGM0JJSV9xUUJzc0FpSnNoUVE&usp=sharing#gid=0

 The only thing about this chart I've found, is that it tends to lean a little on the side of caution when it comes to how much you should wear.  I've been taking off the layers part way through my trips and stuffing them in my messenger bag.  That being said, try it out and see what works for you!

A Mildly Late Ugly Jersey Sunday!

So yes, first of all, it is Monday.  I realize I started ugly jersey Sundays last week, and it's only been one week.  For this I apologize.  This ugly jersey delay is sponsored by THE NFL - "For making you forget your worries all Sunday, until you remember you're a Browns fan."

This jersey is a total whopper of unsightly cycling apparel!  So, without further delay, allow me to present everyone with what I have dubbed "The Neon Shimano Jersey of Confusion."

Fresh out of the wash!

This jersey has caused more confused looks, comments, and derogatory remarks than anything else I've worn cycling.  Basically what I'm saying is that it's THE BEST!

I put on this jersey and I know I'm gonna piss some redneck in a lifted truck off.  It makes for exciting rides, with such high-visibility features as BEING ALL NEON PURPLE, PINK, AND ORANGE.  The thing is, I don't mind people yelling things at me from passing cars.  More often than not, it actually encourages me to catch up with them and have a word at the next stop light.  It's funny to see people clam up when they realize that they no longer have the protection of being in a moving vehicle.  That is pretty much the only scenario where I will say, "I love red lights!"

"So, that's an ugly jersey Steve, but how does it look on you?"

Well, let me put it this way.  It makes me look extremely homosexual and also kind of homeless.  Neither of those are bad things, and this shirt is reinforcing the attitude of "not giving a shit" recently.  Between the colors, the design of a wheelesque object made out of triangles, and the random splashes, you can only wear this if you've stopped giving a shit.

Selfie!  Because if this jersey had one word it could shout, it would be that, "SELFIE!"

The jersey itself is actually awesome.  It's super comfortable and the pockets are huge.  All in all, this has been the top I've been wearing the most frequently lately.  In short, this jersey is fantastic!

Bringing Back Style To Cycling (Ugly Jersey Sundays)

Hey guys!  Happy Sunday, and I hope you've all made it through the weekend alright!

Tonight, I'm here to start a somewhat regular feature on my blog that I'm titling "Ugly Jersey Sundays."  Basically, I've been starting to collect ugly cycling jerseys from yesteryear, and riding in them.  Some of them are actually kinda cool, and some of them are really, really bad looking.

Today I will present to you an eBay jersey I found for the price of $6.99!

Not looking horrible, right?  Thanks to Matt for the photo!

This is a tri-color jersey I picked up online, and while it isn't the most horrid jersey that will be posted on a Sunday from me, the comfort is.  100% polyester.  Enough said.

Not only does it make me feel a little feminine while I'm on my bike and cars are honking, it also makes it look as if I fart rainbows, as some teenagers were keen to point out earlier today.

All this being said, I actually don't HATE this jersey, and have been wearing it non-ironically over the past few weeks, because immature jokes aside, I actually do really like the way this top looks, plus it matches the tape and seat of my bike!  Oh God, I'm literally sitting here talking about accessorizing my bicycle.

With colors.

And matching them.

To my top.

...

...

Here's my man card.