Vinegar Strokes

My classes are almost done, my stress is slowly seeping out of my chronically sore neck, and I am okay to write an entry again this evening.  So, without further delay, here is my review on a supposed re-hydration drink that I got from questionable sources! (Reddit)

The Recipe

Anyhow, it was a slow day and there had been an interesting thread that gave this recipe for leg cramps.  I think I may have been pushing it too hard because I've been getting an occasional cramp, which I've never have before.  So, there I am, sitting at work, with not a whole lot else to do when I realize that I have all of the ingredients for this drink.  I am making this.  I'm gonna do it, and I'm gonna do it now!  I am excited, and I am pumped.  The only thing I would have trouble with would be boiling the water.  Never mind that, I have a spigot on the water cooler for hot water!  Looking back, I realize there is a microwave which could have easily boiled the water, but I am a HERE AND NOW KINDA GUY.  The hot water spigot from the water cooler would have to do!  I got the vinegar, leftover from yesteryear, and proceeded to crudely eyeball two cups.  I got the sugar from the coffee area, and the salt off of a peer's desk.  I proceeded to mix the ingredients with the vinegar, and added in another eyeballed two cups of hot water from the cooler.

It smelled, as you would expect from vinegar, and once again, looking back, this should have been the first tip that I was doing something unnatural to my body.  The heat from the hot water created a noxious steam that emanated off of the lip of my Styrofoam cup.  It was comparable to leaving a hockey bag in your car on a hot summer day.  Either way, I was gonna do this.  I hate cramps!  I took a big swig from my concoction, and I have to say, the smell was way worse than the taste.  While it didn't taste GOOD, it reminded me of salt and vinegar flavored potato chips.  My brain instantly went into civil war mode. 

"Steve, you found this recipe on the internet, it tastes awful, but not awful enough to outweigh the potential gains." 

Meanwhile, the other half of my brain said, "You've been pushing harder and harder, now your nutrition is holding you back.  Health foods never taste good.  Besides, you can drink it without gagging, and how cool would it be to finally get a 20mph average speed for a longer ride?"

Guess which side won.

Only the finest Dollar General Vinegar for this beverage!

I proceeded to take large gulps of this "drink" over the next thirty minutes.  Jesus, every time it tasted worse than before.  I downed the entire batch and proceeded to finish the rest of my workday forgetting about it.

It wasn't until several hours later, that my stomach started making some odd noises.  "Whatever, I don't have the world's strongest stomach anymore."

I will spare you all the details, but I do not advise taking this drink to rehydrate, or to get over cramps.  However, I will advocate using this drink if you need a "cleanse" of sorts.  I was cleansed about five times that afternoon.  I was conned, and I knew it.  After my battle royale had come to it's supposed conclusion, I was sitting around, feeling pretty comfortable.  There's no other way to put this, if I had all the mental willpower in the world, I couldn't have stopped what was going to happen next.  I'll be blunt and to the point.  I shit myself.  I waddled bowlegged to the men's room with my messenger bag in tow.  I'd have to wear my bike shorts the rest of the day.  No sense in saving my skivvies, they were a done deal.

Long story short, the internet made me shit my pants, I'd lost more fluid than I had ingested, and I looked like a fool at work.



Everyone, listen up, tomorrow is LEG DAY!  The definite answers on male razor burn of the legular region will finally be answered!

Commuting Woes!

Okay, okay.  So the leg post is still a work in progress.  I promise it will be up no later than Wednesday!  I have to let the products try to work their magic first.  Today's post is a little more serious.

Normally I'm a pretty level headed individual.  If you know me, you also know that I'm not one to anger easily.  For some reason today, I seemed to have lost that in the heat of the moment.  Maybe it was the endorphins coursing through me, or the chilly morning, but I couldn't hold my anger back.

I bike commute nearly everywhere now.  I try to take the back roads and I pull as far to the right of the lane when it is SAFE.  Occasionally, I will take the whole lane of traffic, simply because that is where it is safe for me to ride.  When I'm on my bike, I don't have the clam shell of metal around me to make sure I'm okay.  I have the open air, and a Styrofoam cap that is magically supposed to "protect" me.  I obey traffic signs and lights and other traffic laws.  I have plenty of lights at night, and try to wear visible and reflective clothing.  I consider myself to be a pretty safe cyclist.

Ever since I was hit by a truck earlier this year when it ran a red light, I have taken extra steps to make sure I am safe on the roads.  I carry myself with an attitude of caution around every single vehicle, and I assume they do not see me, especially during night hours.

I try to be an outstanding and courteous cyclist, and hope I am a positive influence to biking for motorists along my adventures.

With all of this out of the way, let me get to the story.  On my morning commute into work today I had an "event."  Not only did this event put me in a bad mood on my normally enjoyable morning ride, it had me a little peeved all day.  It happened at an intersection.  The road I was on was a residential, 25mph road, with extra wide lanes, and had a traffic island separating the two different directions of traffic.  The cross street was a 35mph "main road" of sorts.

I pulled up to the traffic light like I do nearly every morning and took the middle of the center lane.  This lane is the only lane marked for going straight.  There is a left turn lane and a right turn lane.  Keep in mind, these lanes only exist at the intersection, and it goes back to a one lane road after crossing through the intersection.

The intersection in question.

As I'm waiting, traffic lines up behind me.  There are some cars in the left turn lane, some in the right, and about four or five behind me.  Since the lanes are so wide on this road, after crossing the intersection, I will usually move a little to the right to allow traffic to pass me.  I don't feel threatened by the cars sharing the lane, and even though it is a 25mph zone, many people speed through.  I usually do about 22-23mph down this stretch, yet cars pass me like I'm standing still.

Anyhow, I cross through the intersection safely, and as I normally do, I check over my right shoulder to move over so the cars behind me can pass.  I'm glad I make a habit of always looking before I move, because sitting INCHES from my rear tire and to my right is a car.  It's a beige Toyota.  Uggghhhhhhh.  It's trying to pass on the right.  In a single traffic lane.  This driver must've been so inconvenienced by having a cyclist in front of them, they decided it was not only acceptable to use the right turn only lane to go straight, but also attempt to pass me on the right.  On a one lane road.  I'm still baffled by it, so maybe repeating it again will help me understand.  A CAR PASSING ON THE RIGHT OF A ONE LANE ROAD.  Nope, it still doesn't make sense as to how this is okay.  At all.

Of course confusion was my first reaction, so I blurted out a pretty hefty, "What the hell are you doing?!?!?"

This was followed by me slowing down, so this lunatic could get past me without any bodily injury on my part.  Apparently, this gesture was taken as, "Oh boy, I made him angry, I should slow down too!"

This only confused and angered me more.  I think maybe I had not been clear with my intent for them to pass me.  At this point, I motion with my free hand and wave them forward.  We are a rolling roadblock at this point, and the only thing on my mind is to get away from this person.  What happened next I can only be describe as the most foul string of expletives that may have ever left my mouth.  I must have been loud enough at this point, because it caused the car to just stop.  After getting a few car lengths ahead, and back to my position on the right to allow traffic to pass, I look back.  What I saw in the Toyota was the most shocked face I've ever seen a sweet old woman wear.

Now, I felt bad the rest of my ride in, and throughout most of the afternoon from this episode.  I had just cussed out and said awful things to what appeared to be an old woman in a Toyota Solara convertible.  Why did I have to do that?  Why her, and why did I have to be so harsh?  After thinking about it all afternoon, I came to a realization.  I could've absolutely handled the situation better.  If I could go back and change the interaction, I would still be loud, but I should've been more clear in my intentions.  Still, that does not change the fact that this woman showed no regard for my safety, let alone traffic laws.  This has been the closest I had been to getting in another accident since the truck incident this May.  When you see everything happening, the fight or flight response kicks in.  If I had continued riding without checking over my shoulder, I have no doubt this blog post would be written differently.

Like I said earlier, I have no clam shell to hide in when I'm on my bike.  I have a few inches of rubber, aluminum, and carbon keeping me from two-ton, highly unpredictable, people carriers, that could kill me at any time.  Biking is about freedom and not having to be stuck in the confines of the car.  It's about self-reliance and not having to fill up with gas every week.  It's about fitness and being outside.  It's about taking life a little slower and appreciating the little things on the way.  The danger that comes with this, is of course the openness as well.  If you crash into me, there aren't seat belts, airbags, or crumple zones to keep me safe.  I openly understand this and do what I can to minimize my risk as a cyclist.

The thing that bothers me, is that, I can be a perfect cyclist.  I can follow all the laws, wear the brightest clothes, light my bike up like a damn Christmas tree, but at the end of the day, if someone else decides "it's not worth my time to follow the rules," I'm still put in as much, if not more, jeopardy than if I were the one actively breaking the law.  I can be perfect to the T while riding my bike and still be in danger because people are impatient and treat cyclists like second class citizens on the road.  People who break the law to get around cyclists, people who yell and throw things out of moving cars, or people who fly past coming way too close for comfort all have one thing in common.  They're all assholes.  Including the old woman today.  I hope the extra few minutes she was trying to save on her commute was worth putting my life at risk.  That person on a bike isn't an "obstruction" or an "inconvenience."  They are a PERSON, and that is why I am angry.  No one's life should ever be put in question, just so a motorist can cut down their drive time.

I hope some readers will think about this next time they see someone biking on the road.  When you're frustrated that you're moving slower because of them, just remember this: That is a person and chances are they are actually a pretty friendly guy or gal, with plenty of stories, loved ones, and their own lives underneath that Lycra.  Don't be an asshole to them.

The Aftermath!
After telling my coworkers about the incident today, my work phone started making weird noises.  I was genuinely concerned that the old woman had put a curse on me!  She looked old, but young at the same time.  It's pretty evident she was a witch.  I had put a damper on her morning drive and delayed her plan to complain to the Hobby Lobby management team about yarn prices.  Thinking back, it all makes sense.  She had stop the car in order to channel her energy.

Every time I put the handset back on it's cradle, unsettling... sounds came from it.  Since some of you find it humorous to see the things I search for, I figured I would post it up.  Here you go, have at it.

Back to the BLAG

Hey everyone!  Sorry for the outage, but I've been busy with all sorts of things recently and the blog was starting to stress me out a little bit.  I'm back though, and 1000% less emo in my posts.  All posts pertaining to my whining are gone because this is not LiveJournal, and I am no longer fourteen.  In any case, let's move on!

It's been about two weeks since I've actually updated this sucker, and so much has happened.  I went on a mountain biking trip with two friends a few weekends ago, which was an absolute blast.  There will be more on that later.  I went full roadie and shaved my legs.  Which I will write about later this week.  I've gone several hundred miles on my inexpensive tires without a flat, which is a new record.  Last but not least, I've decided to start watching my diet and calorie intake during the day.  I've cut out the beer and liquor and am really striving to be at my target cycling weight.

Anyhow, on to the mountain biking trip!  I had an excellent time this weekend.  I'd like to thank Brandon for throwing everything together and getting it organized, and Tim for driving me out in his badass truck.  We went to Brown County, Indiana, and I can safely say I had the most excellent, if not also the most frustrating, time out there.  For those of you not in the know, Brown County was rated as one of the IMBA "Epic Rides" in 2011, and still stands as one of their model trails that others are compared against.

For those of you who know me a little better, you will certainly know that mountain biking was how I was reintroduced to the two wheeled world after a long absence.  I started nearly seven years ago.  Recently obligations, responsibilities, and just the general buzz of day-to-day life have limited the time I've been able to spend on a mountain bike.  You have to load up a vehicle, drive out to the destination, unpack, ride, pack back up, and head out.  Unless I have a few hours to kill, it isn't always a viable option for me.

Anyhow, tackling trails like this, after only being on my mountain bike one previous time this season, was a little nerve-racking.  There were some superb trails with lots of flow in the beginning and I could get moving very quickly.  The hills always seemed reasonable, and while challenging, never left me feeling drained.  One hill supposedly had over 1,000 feet of vertical climb, but the trails were planned out in such a way that I never really hated climbing.

On top of Hesitation Point, the 1,000' climb.

The first day went smoothly for me, except for the descents.  I have a bad habit of tensing up, and not letting my bike do the work for me.  This is fine on climbs, but often slows me down and leads to some interesting situations on downhill segments.  The downhill on Hesitation Point was brutal to me.  I lost control of my bike and slid about forty feet down the hillside.  Of course, other than damaging my ego, it also tore up the shorts and bike shorts I was wearing underneath.  This forced my hand to make an on-the-fly daisy duke conversion with a pocket knife.  I regret nothing.

The camping was done at eXplore Brown County, and was pretty decent.  The campgrounds were a little more family oriented than I think anyone would have anticipated, but it still made for a good time.  All in all, I would visit again.  However, a word to fellow mountain bikers, the mountain bike trails at the campsite were NOT worth trying to figure out.  While they certainly weren't the worst trails I've ever ridden on, the layout is confusing and is second only to the map they give you in terms of disorganization.

Tim, with Camp Beer!

This trip really made me remember why I love mountain biking.  While road biking is fun in it's own ways, sometimes you need a little more excitement to really get you going.  Flying down some of those hills and hitting the little bunny hop jumps really reminded me of this.  I hope to get out more next year and not let mountain biking be forgotten again.  I come back from Brown County beat up, but with a smile on my face.

Stick with me later this week where I try to justify shaving my legs and review some razor burn remedies.  Goodness, does this itch.

That Dreaded Time of the Year...

Here we are! The weather is finally starting to transition from the long summer days filled with warmth to the short, chilly days of winter. As many of you know, I'm not the biggest fan of winter. It is often the time of year when people such as myself pack in for a few months, and slowly watch the pounds pile on from extravagant holiday feasts and lack of exercise.

I've had thoughts about joining a gym over the past few weeks, but then I remember how much I hate them. They're often florescent lit, reminding me once more of my day stuck at work, and how the sun barely shows itself anymore after five. Instead, I've found myself biking home in the dark. This may sound dangerous, and I was a little nervous on my first ride out. What I've noticed though, is compared to the summer months, there is significantly less traffic on my commutes. No one really wants to be out when it's cold, dark, and sometimes rainy. Hell, even I don't really WANT to be out on those evenings either.

These rides in the dark have been some of the best cycling experiences I've had recently. You get the cool bight of the air rushing along you, the odd tranquility of having normally busy roads to yourself. Then there's the sensation of only knowing what's a few feet in front of you from your lamp. The way it makes me feel is fantastic. It is nearly the complete opposite of the gym, and I couldn't be happier.

People are already starting to look at me like I'm crazy out on my bike with this weather, but the worst is still to come. With a few extra minutes of planning in the mornings, I find I can adequately dress myself for almost any weather. From a simple windbreaker, to layers, to wool garments when it gets REALLY cold, I am putting in the effort to not let the forty pounds I've lost over the past few months sneak up on me again.

And you know what the best part about all of this is? The absolute joy of still riding my bike, despite the weather! There are few things getting me through my stresses recently, but every day I ride my bike to work, class, or errands, I know that I can always look forward to my ride back. Heck, the other day I even took the long way home.

To anyone reading this that's thinking about putting the bike “up for the season,” do yourself a favor, and don't. Go to your local bike shop and strap some lights on that sucker, pick up some warmer clothing.  Get out there and enjoy the slightly more empty streets!  Push for a new personal record, and enjoy the nearly sweat free experience, or simply go out and let the experience take you where it will.

Now since I'm trying to be informative about my posts too, I'm linking a clothing temperature chart I've used over the past week or so.  I pulled it off of the bicycling subreddit, and found it very useful!

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AlvwYrlWhEL6cFBJNklGM0JJSV9xUUJzc0FpSnNoUVE&usp=sharing#gid=0

 The only thing about this chart I've found, is that it tends to lean a little on the side of caution when it comes to how much you should wear.  I've been taking off the layers part way through my trips and stuffing them in my messenger bag.  That being said, try it out and see what works for you!

A Mildly Late Ugly Jersey Sunday!

So yes, first of all, it is Monday.  I realize I started ugly jersey Sundays last week, and it's only been one week.  For this I apologize.  This ugly jersey delay is sponsored by THE NFL - "For making you forget your worries all Sunday, until you remember you're a Browns fan."

This jersey is a total whopper of unsightly cycling apparel!  So, without further delay, allow me to present everyone with what I have dubbed "The Neon Shimano Jersey of Confusion."

Fresh out of the wash!

This jersey has caused more confused looks, comments, and derogatory remarks than anything else I've worn cycling.  Basically what I'm saying is that it's THE BEST!

I put on this jersey and I know I'm gonna piss some redneck in a lifted truck off.  It makes for exciting rides, with such high-visibility features as BEING ALL NEON PURPLE, PINK, AND ORANGE.  The thing is, I don't mind people yelling things at me from passing cars.  More often than not, it actually encourages me to catch up with them and have a word at the next stop light.  It's funny to see people clam up when they realize that they no longer have the protection of being in a moving vehicle.  That is pretty much the only scenario where I will say, "I love red lights!"

"So, that's an ugly jersey Steve, but how does it look on you?"

Well, let me put it this way.  It makes me look extremely homosexual and also kind of homeless.  Neither of those are bad things, and this shirt is reinforcing the attitude of "not giving a shit" recently.  Between the colors, the design of a wheelesque object made out of triangles, and the random splashes, you can only wear this if you've stopped giving a shit.

Selfie!  Because if this jersey had one word it could shout, it would be that, "SELFIE!"

The jersey itself is actually awesome.  It's super comfortable and the pockets are huge.  All in all, this has been the top I've been wearing the most frequently lately.  In short, this jersey is fantastic!

Bringing Back Style To Cycling (Ugly Jersey Sundays)

Hey guys!  Happy Sunday, and I hope you've all made it through the weekend alright!

Tonight, I'm here to start a somewhat regular feature on my blog that I'm titling "Ugly Jersey Sundays."  Basically, I've been starting to collect ugly cycling jerseys from yesteryear, and riding in them.  Some of them are actually kinda cool, and some of them are really, really bad looking.

Today I will present to you an eBay jersey I found for the price of $6.99!

Not looking horrible, right?  Thanks to Matt for the photo!

This is a tri-color jersey I picked up online, and while it isn't the most horrid jersey that will be posted on a Sunday from me, the comfort is.  100% polyester.  Enough said.

Not only does it make me feel a little feminine while I'm on my bike and cars are honking, it also makes it look as if I fart rainbows, as some teenagers were keen to point out earlier today.

All this being said, I actually don't HATE this jersey, and have been wearing it non-ironically over the past few weeks, because immature jokes aside, I actually do really like the way this top looks, plus it matches the tape and seat of my bike!  Oh God, I'm literally sitting here talking about accessorizing my bicycle.

With colors.

And matching them.

To my top.

...

...

Here's my man card.

Budget Tire Review!

As promised, although slightly late, here are my first impressions on the Forte Pro Plus (Performance Bikes house brand) road tires.

I did a whole bunch (read as 15 minutes) of reading on these particular tires before making the purchase.  They are very inexpensively priced like most of Performance's house brand gear tends to be.  After doing a little bit of digging around on Google and a little bit of reconnaissance at the store, I felt the evidence was pretty convincing that they were either rebadged Panaracer tires, or at the very least, made in the same factory as the Panaracers.

Now just because I bought these, I'm not to saying that Panaracers are the best tires out there, but the general consensus seems to be that they are pretty mid range.  Another tire option I had considered at the time were some Vittoria Zaffiros, but the shop only had them in the slick variant and I was weary of how these would handle in the rain.  I also strongly considered the Michelin Lithion 2 tire, which was what I had originally came to purchase, however the shop only had a single tire left.

After standing like an idiot in front of the tire rack for the better part of an hour, switching between my smartphone browser with Amazon reviews pulled up, and bothering the seemingly one knowledgeable employee there, I finally settled on the house brand Pro Pluses on BLOWOUT SALE for about $25 a piece.

My very first impressions of the tire were positive out of the packaging.  Kevlar bead, puncture resistant shell, and relatively lightweight for for the features.  I opted for the 23mm width rather than the 25mm simply because the only 25mm tires had a secondary compound that was red.  The 23s I purchased were a much more subtle grey.  I was coming off of some Kenda Kontender tires, also in 23mm, that were doing no favors to my now empty patch kit.  I can thank those tires for the two punctures and one sidewall blowout I had on my 90 mile trip back from Columbus several weekends ago.

Putting the new tires on the rims was a piece of cake, and I easily coerced them on using only a single tire lever.  The grey secondary compound was a different look for the bike, but difficult to distinguish from a distance.  The tires do not have a directional arrow, however if you look at the tread, it should be easy for even the most novice cyclist to tell which way they should be mounted.

Mounted, here you can see I clearly mounted it backwards no thanks to a directional arrow, as well as the two tone compound I mentioned.

My first ride was unfortunately a short morning commute of my regular 19 miles to the coffee shop followed by work.  The conditions were dry and the commute is a mixture of multi use paths, bike lanes, and very unkempt road.

On the bike paths I noticed that the ride comfort was right about the same as my old rubber, however the rolling resistance was greatly decreased.  Maybe it was a placebo effect, but my average speed for that section jumped by about 1mph with what I would consider the same amount of effort.

The second section is comprised of some neighborhoods and onto a more main street with a bike lane.  Here the Fortes (Fortis?) easily outperformed my Kendas that still had plenty of tread left.  The corners felt like I had much more grip thanks to the softer secondary compound.  I felt way more confident in taking turns at speed.  This was a good thing.

The third section of my commute is made up some less than ideally maintained roads.  This is the only point I was wishing for my old tires back.  It could be that I usually had the old Kendas between 110-120psi depending on conditions, or that I had put the new tires up to 130 for their inaugural trip, but the bumps seemed much more pronounced.

Throughout the week, I of course commuted more and found that lowering the pressure just a hair remedied my complaints about the bumps, yet did not cost me any pinch flats.  In the rain the tires handled decently, but a little on the unpredictable side.  I would not classify them as fantastic or awful, but somewhere in the "not bad" range of the spectrum.

Overall, I'm pleased with my cheap tire purchase, and would recommend them to someone looking for a basic tire that doesn't break the bank.  Positives include their low cost, decent rolling resistance, and good dry cornering.  Downfalls of the tire are poor to mediocre wet cornering, a bit of a stiff ride, and the unavailability of a 25mm tire that wasn't gaudy red.

On My Minor Absence

Hello everyone!

Let me apologize for my week and a half absence first of all!  I know it must've been tough for you to go more than a few days without your friend updating his poorly designed blog.  I'd love to put more posts on here, but life has been hectic lately!  Between putting in overtime at work, tons of schoolwork, and trying to manage a personal life, this blog was put on the back burner.  Well, fear no more, not tonight!  Not Tuesday night!  I've been meaning to write an update, and it's HERE and NOW!

Many of you might be thinking by my lack of updates here, and only my occasional Strava ride that my road bike phase is done and over with, because that's what I used to do with things like this.  Let me just correct those ideas.  No I haven't been using Strava as much recently, and yes, I still do plan to bike across the country.  I'm here to talk about why I'm not really on Strava anymore.

Commutes are boring.  There, I said it.  Nearly every day I've been riding my bike to work and to classes.  You get to a point though where it all becomes the same.  It's the same path you ride every day, and you take it easy on the way in.  Can't get too sweaty for the work day.  You do your thing, then bike to classes, or bike home.  It's all whatever to you at this point.  It becomes normal.  I've become so used to my daily commutes that I don't even feel like it's noteworthy to mention it, or even record it anymore.  I know the mileage that I did, and that's enough.

Now I will add one exception to this.  Lately I've been trying to haul ass on my way home.  On days I feel particularly good I've been recording.  I'd really love to see the numbers two and zero flash on my phone for an average speed.  Red lights definitely put a stop to my latest attempt.  Damn 18.5!

The only time I really enjoy my commutes are when something out of the ordinary happens.  I now love the rain, simply because drivers think you are plain crazy for being out in such weather and give you extra room.  I had the biggest grin the whole time on my first rain commute, I kind of hope for it more often now. 

I also had a pedal come off with two miles left a few weeks ago.  One legged riding in the rain was certainly new to me.  There was an added bonus of feeling like a complete hard ass when my boss pulled up in his SUV at the same time and simply said "Holy shit!" 

I've had a chain break on my way home.  Wait, I take that back, that was the least enjoyable commute I've had so far.

Can you find what's missing?  (Hint: you use it to move forward)

Anyhow, I'm still out there, I'm still putting in the saddle time and miles.  They're just boring miles.  Any weekend adventure I had planned for last weekend was destroyed by work, and prior Sunday golfing plans.  Yes, golf.  Hell has frozen over.  Steve did that and enjoyed it.  Also the Browns won and are tied for first in the AFC North.  I will leave this post at that to let it all sink in.

Tomorrow you can look forward to a tire review, since I've had them on for nearly two weeks now.  Excitement!

My First Taste of Touring

Hello and good afternoon everyone.  Sorry for not having any sort of updates over the weekend, but for once I was on my bicycle nearly the whole time!

As I mentioned before, this weekend I had plans to visit Columbus and see a friend.  I'm glad to say that everything went well, or as well as it could have, and I made it there and back in mostly one piece!
 

First of all, I'd like to thank Winston for offering a place to crash and ordering my drunk ass one of the best sandwiches I've had in a really long time!  It takes a good friend to know what to order when I throw them my wallet and simply say, "I'm hungry, order me some bullshit!"

Moving on, the whole point of the trip was to get out of town, spend some quality time on the saddle, and go to my happy zen place.  Let me tell you, it is a lot easier to do that when you know exactly where you are going.  As many of you may know, navigation is not my strong suit.  This led to some interesting experiences on both the way there and the way back.

My ride to Columbus, if you look closely, you will see my accidental detour.

On the way there I hop on my bike and take the path directly to Xenia, Ohio.  No problem, I do this path nearly every other weekend.  I know it like the back of my hand now.  I head out that way, ignoring the "trail closed" signs.  There is some drainage work being done about 1.5 miles outside of Xenia, however they have done nothing other than put up "trail closed" signs.  No wonder it takes the state so long with their roadworks.

My bike at Xenia Station.  Kind of a cool little place.  Cool, yet confusing.

In any case, I get to Xenia, consult Google Maps and try to get my bearings.  For those of you that do not know, Xenia is a pretty decent sized hub for all these bike trails.  You can take about half a dozen different paths from the station.  I figure out directions to the trail I want and head on my way. 

Cedarville is the next town, and it shouldn't be too far away, maybe an hour at the most.  So I'm biking, and biking, when I think to myself, "I should have been through Cedarville already."  Just as I was thinking that, the farmlands start changing to the scenery of a small town.  I mumble to myself, "Great, but I must've been slow to get here."  I approach and the sign reads "Welcome to Jamestown." Shit.

I pull up Google Maps again and realize the trail I was on had taken me southeast instead of northeast.  I decide to embark on the route that is suggested to get back on the correct trail.  An extra 14 miles for my detour so far.  The rest of the trip there was relatively uneventful, except for the highway.  God, that was frightening.  The miles came and went, and I had a lot of time to take in the scenery and think about life in general.  It was actually quite brilliant and just what I needed from this trip.

A pretty typical view I had along the country roads of my detour.  It was nice and peaceful, until Google had me bike on the shoulder of US Route 35 for two miles.

I ended up taking a short pit stop outside of London, Ohio, not too far from Columbus.  I sat down, ate some trail mix and refilled my water bottle.  While I was doing that I met a guy named Paul.  About my age, in his mid twenties, and on a fantastic carbon Felt bicycle that gave me some bike envy.  His wheel set cost more than my entire bike.  We set off at the same time together since he was on his way to Columbus also.

Those next 15 miles, before we split ways, were possibly some of the fastest I've ever done.  We averaged 22.5mph and I was completely drained when I found the road I had to turn off on.  That being said, he was totally impressed that I kept up, messenger bag, entry level bike and all.  I didn't even draft and elected to ride alongside him.  We swapped numbers and he told me to call him about some higher level amateur races in Cincinnati that he competes in.  I may take him up on that next spring.

This was my view for the better part of 40 miles.  Straight flat, and partly cloudy.  Not hateful.

Entering Columbus was an interesting experience to say the least.  I don't mind riding on the roads at all, country roads are excellent fun, and the city streets aren't bad either.  The worst is going through the suburbs, and unfortunately I had no other option.  To be on a road with no shoulder as people in their minivans and SUVs whizz by doing 15 over the posted speed limit is ridiculous.  Some come as close as possible to you, and you have to wonder what the hell they are thinking.  The next five miles were precisely this.  People in the suburbs are in such a big rush everywhere they go.  I think sometimes they forget that the person on a bike is exactly that, a person.

Yes, I am moving slower than you, and yes it might suck to wait the extra thirty seconds until you can SAFELY pass me.  I'm a person though too, I've got family, friends, and loved ones too.  I try to be more than polite, and even pull to the right when it's safe to pass, but you still buzz right by me endangering my life.  Yes, sometimes I lose my cool, and a string of expletives may escape my mouth and into the ears of your children, but maybe, just maybe, it's kind of deserved in some cases.  To any of my non cycling friends out there, keep this in mind.  I just want to arrive safely in one piece.  Please, just give bicyclists a little extra room, it is VERY appreciated. 

I any case, Columbus itself was great, there were bike lanes everywhere and everyone in the city was extra courteous.  It was great seeing my friend, and being able to walk to so many different places in town.  I ended up going to bed relatively early since I still had a return trip the next morning.

Leaving Columbus Sunday morning was... an ordeal.  I got out of the city just fine, but ended up getting lost several times in the suburbs back to the bike trail.  Of course, the suburban drivers were as careless with their passing as they were on the way in and the stress probably shaved a few years off my life.  In any case, I awesomely turned a 15 mile trip into a 30 mile trip back to the bike trail.  Little did I know things were about to go from mediocre to pretty crappy.

A rolling selfie, because I heard that's the new trend.  You can tell by my general happiness that I haven't experienced issues yet.

After I got on the trail and had passed from Franklin to Madison County, I started to experience some problems.  Unfortunately the country and suburban roads of Franklin county are maintained less than ideally.  So, as I'm on the path about ten miles to London, Ohio, my front tire decides to blow out rather violently.  It was loud!  Like shotgun loud.  These are newer tires, and I know the sidewalls and beads are good.  Oh well, I probably didn't get the tube in 100% correctly.

I replace the tube, since I have one extra tube and my patch kit with me.  I use one of my two CO2 cartridges to fill it up, leaving one left.  I head on my way, until about four miles later, what decides to happen?  Yup, I wasn't paying attention and ran over what I can only describe as a "pile of bullshit in the middle of the path, with sharp things."  I have two options at this point.  I can use my last cartridge and try to find a leak and patch it, or I can walk my way into town and try to find an air pump and another tube.  I elected to take the walk, since I don't like using the last of my supplies.

Now at this point, you might say, "But Steve, I told you before you left to call if anything happened where you might need a ride!"  Maybe you forget who you are talking to, but I am stubborn as can be, and really wanted this trip to be self-reliant.

This shit, all damn afternoon.

Six miles on foot with a packed messenger bag and a bike with a flat front tire is actually quite a lot.  It took me several hours to walk into town.  I elected to head to the Wal-Mart, since there were no bike shops in town.  

As I'm walking through the neighborhoods to Wal-Mart, a guy from his driveway shouts at me, "Hey, you got a flat?"  

"I sure do!" I replied, and he motions for me to come over.  Being the only other option was to walk another two miles to the Wal-Mart, I agreed.  Walking seriously sucks, especially in biking shoes.  I head over and he asks if I need a tube.  I really only needed an air pump so I could find and patch the hole, but he insisted.  His name was Scott, and he was visiting his father.  He had driven all the way from Denver.  Out of his Subaru, he pulls out a bag and tosses me a tube.  He says that he needs an extra one, so he's going to head to the Wal-Mart to pick one up.  He leaves me with his pump and tube in his father's driveway.

I end up patching my tube and getting it all reseated on the rim by the time he gets back.  He insists that I take another tube just in case.  He tells me he's going to head out for a ride later in the afternoon, and gives me directions back to the bike path.  I thank him again and head out.

An itty-bitty tunnel outside of London, Ohio.

Of course, in true Steve fashion, I get lost in London.  This city has like 6 streets, and I know, it's kind of impressive that I managed to lose myself, even with Google Maps AND directions from someone.  Here I ride the same streets over and over mumbling for the next hour as I try to find my way back.  I eventually do, and continue on my way back home.  I'm kinda disheartened from everything that just happened, so I'm riding at a very casual pace until I feel a bit brighter.

Out of nowhere, Scott pulls up along side of me and tells me that he is visiting his brother the town over.  We join up for the next 20 miles, and they go by much quicker.  It's always nice to ride by yourself, but sometimes meeting these different people and chatting along the way makes it better too.  We talked about everything, from life back home, to the latest bike tech.  It's so weird how a simple machine like a bicycle can bring people together.  Here I was pedaling alongside a fifty-something year old guy, and it didn't matter, it's like we already had a bond.  We parted ways in the little village and I thanked him yet again.  Scott from Denver, if you're ever reading this, you made my day.  Thanks a million again!

The rest of the trip was uneventful, up until I was about 10 miles outside of Xenia.  Yup, you guessed it, my shitty glueless patch had come undone.  My front tire was leaking air at a slow, but sure rate.  Rather than messing around with another patch that I knew would come undone in a short amount of time, I chose to use the tube that Scott had given me.  With 25 miles left to go, I put the tube in, used my last CO2 cartridge and set off with a prayer.

I made it, and I'm proud to say that I did.  I might've gotten home 5 hours later than I had planned, but what good adventure doesn't have it's own mishaps?  Next time I will be more prepared.  Touring tires with more puncture resistance, a few extra tubes, more CO2, and a hand pump all come to mind.  I'd also bring a long sleeve shirt since my trip back into the wind was bearable, but quite chilly.

I finished!  Slow, due to MANY mishaps.

I enjoyed myself immensely and I wouldn't change anything about the trip.  I've come away with some quality thinking time about life and who I am, met a few new friends along the way, got to see an old friend, and learned quite a bit about bicycle touring in the process.  Even though this was not technically a "tour," I still consider it to be my first step into this world.  I can't wait to get back in the saddle for my next trip! 

What the hell are you drinking Steve? Urine?

Hello, and good morning everyone!

As promised, today will be a more cycling oriented post.  Over the past few months I've read.  A lot.  I read everything from the random babble of /r/bicycling on reddit, to the elitism banter on bikeforums.net.  I don't pay attention to many of the posts, and it would be great if my visitors came here for a filtered version of each.

In any case, I've picked up a recipe from somewhere online and kinda customized it to be my own.  I've stopped drinking sports drinks to replenish what my body clearly craves, electrolytes.  I'm done with Gatorade and Powerade.  Instead, I tried a recipe I stumbled on, and tweaked it to my tastes.  Today I'm here to share with you Steve's Cat Piss Extract!

Steve's Cat Piss Extract (no felines needed):

The ingredients.

 1 Water Bottle - I use a 22oz Clean Bottle, which I love
2 1/2 Tbsp of brown sugar
1 pinch of salt
1 Tbsp of honey
1/4 tsp of lemon juice
1/4 tsp of lime juice

Combine solid and granular ingredients, including honey in bottle.  Add lemon and lime juice to suggested amounts, or to taste.  Hell, I don't know what you like.  Fill the rest of the bottle with either hot water or water directly from a pressure washer, as these tend to mix the goo you've just created.

Approximately one pinch of salt, I don't really measure things, and in fact guessed on half the things I just listed in the recipe.

If you've done everything correctly, you should get a mixture that looks somewhat like urine if you were really really sick.

Perfect!  Ready to hit the roads!

Depending on my ride length, I may up the concentration of the sugar, honey, and salt and add less water.  I find that as I go along, I'll switch between this and water, but if the concentration of the cat piss is too high, I'll water it down at fountains along the way.  It does however, make for a concentrated homemade "sports drink" that can last you 70 miles or more.  At least in my personal experience it does, and had made food stops much less of a thing for me.

I know it doesn't contain potassium, or other things that sports drinks advertise, but when you sweat, your body loses two things mainly.  Water and sodium.  Try not to go overboard on the salt, the pinch amount that I posted is good for a regular batch.  The last weekend ride I had, my black bicycling shorts were literally covered in dried up salt stains when I was done, which had me introduce just a little bit of salt to the mix.  Once again, adjust the recipe if you don't like the taste, it's all personal, but I find this to be the best mix of taste, calories, and sodium that I need for my long rides.  As always, your mileage may vary.