Vinegar Strokes

My classes are almost done, my stress is slowly seeping out of my chronically sore neck, and I am okay to write an entry again this evening.  So, without further delay, here is my review on a supposed re-hydration drink that I got from questionable sources! (Reddit)

The Recipe

Anyhow, it was a slow day and there had been an interesting thread that gave this recipe for leg cramps.  I think I may have been pushing it too hard because I've been getting an occasional cramp, which I've never have before.  So, there I am, sitting at work, with not a whole lot else to do when I realize that I have all of the ingredients for this drink.  I am making this.  I'm gonna do it, and I'm gonna do it now!  I am excited, and I am pumped.  The only thing I would have trouble with would be boiling the water.  Never mind that, I have a spigot on the water cooler for hot water!  Looking back, I realize there is a microwave which could have easily boiled the water, but I am a HERE AND NOW KINDA GUY.  The hot water spigot from the water cooler would have to do!  I got the vinegar, leftover from yesteryear, and proceeded to crudely eyeball two cups.  I got the sugar from the coffee area, and the salt off of a peer's desk.  I proceeded to mix the ingredients with the vinegar, and added in another eyeballed two cups of hot water from the cooler.

It smelled, as you would expect from vinegar, and once again, looking back, this should have been the first tip that I was doing something unnatural to my body.  The heat from the hot water created a noxious steam that emanated off of the lip of my Styrofoam cup.  It was comparable to leaving a hockey bag in your car on a hot summer day.  Either way, I was gonna do this.  I hate cramps!  I took a big swig from my concoction, and I have to say, the smell was way worse than the taste.  While it didn't taste GOOD, it reminded me of salt and vinegar flavored potato chips.  My brain instantly went into civil war mode. 

"Steve, you found this recipe on the internet, it tastes awful, but not awful enough to outweigh the potential gains." 

Meanwhile, the other half of my brain said, "You've been pushing harder and harder, now your nutrition is holding you back.  Health foods never taste good.  Besides, you can drink it without gagging, and how cool would it be to finally get a 20mph average speed for a longer ride?"

Guess which side won.

Only the finest Dollar General Vinegar for this beverage!

I proceeded to take large gulps of this "drink" over the next thirty minutes.  Jesus, every time it tasted worse than before.  I downed the entire batch and proceeded to finish the rest of my workday forgetting about it.

It wasn't until several hours later, that my stomach started making some odd noises.  "Whatever, I don't have the world's strongest stomach anymore."

I will spare you all the details, but I do not advise taking this drink to rehydrate, or to get over cramps.  However, I will advocate using this drink if you need a "cleanse" of sorts.  I was cleansed about five times that afternoon.  I was conned, and I knew it.  After my battle royale had come to it's supposed conclusion, I was sitting around, feeling pretty comfortable.  There's no other way to put this, if I had all the mental willpower in the world, I couldn't have stopped what was going to happen next.  I'll be blunt and to the point.  I shit myself.  I waddled bowlegged to the men's room with my messenger bag in tow.  I'd have to wear my bike shorts the rest of the day.  No sense in saving my skivvies, they were a done deal.

Long story short, the internet made me shit my pants, I'd lost more fluid than I had ingested, and I looked like a fool at work.



Everyone, listen up, tomorrow is LEG DAY!  The definite answers on male razor burn of the legular region will finally be answered!